Over Playing Their Hand

Tomorrow is the day it seems. A festering issue since 9/11, the implications for what it means to be an American and the public safety issues raised by our porous borders will all come to a head on May Day. Formerly a communist holiday, the deeply misguided movement for "immigrant's rights" will turn it up to "11" on Monday, and in my view destroy whatever goodwill it previously had in fell swoop.

It's extraordinary really. When you think about it, very few people could have cared much about the illegal problem prior to these demonstrations. The truth was that we all new that we had some issue, but for each of us illegal aliens had a face, a personality. We didn't know exactly who was illegal, and we really didn't want to know. In our everyday lives these were the good people that we encountered in restaurants, at construction sites. They mowed our lawns, helped watch our kids, and provided other critical services that helped us get through our everyday lives. In return, we looked the other way. Yes, we knew that they might not be here legally, but we also knew that they were here for the same reasons that our parents and grandparents came here; they wanted a better life for their children.

Who could argue with that? We had a need, and our need was the basis for their entry into this country. Whether they were from Mexico, South America or Eastern Europe our arms were open and our hearts welcomed them to a better life. The thing of it is, that individually we knew these folks. They may have worked for us, but they were noble, hard working people and we respected what they were trying to accomplish.

There but for the grace of God and all that.

Suddenly though this image has been radically changed. People for whom we had compassion and for whom we bent the rules are now demanding more. Our country is at war and we see the need to tighten our borders for protection and to ensure that we know who is entering. It is time for our goodwill to be returned, and for America's gracious welcome to be honored by those who have benefited.

Sadly, in an all too predictable turn of events, those who have been the beneficiaries of our largesse demand more. It seems that we haven't been generous enough in allowing them supra-legal entry into the U.S. As it turns out, according to them, we should be offering more. Already we provide full rights of citizenship to their children who are born here, we pay for their emergency room visits, we educate their kids in are schools. This isn't enough?

Nope, it seems that we need to re-write our national anthem, the anthem that those before us died to defend against the worst horrors of the 20th century. It seems we're wrong to enforce our laws in an era when we have enemies that desire our end. Worse yet, they choose to insult us with a demonstration on the holiday of our most recently defeated enemy.

It took a lot for folks like me to get upset about this issue, but this my friends, this, is a line too far. It is my sincere hope that good Americans, yes real Americans, who need a job are also out in force tomorrow. I hope they'll take driver's license in hand and go and take some of those good paying jobs that will be abandoned by the protesters.

I also hope the police are checking IDs at the marches. This certainly seems like the best opportunity so far to identify illegals and send them back to the countries from which they've come.

This Weekend's Rockin' Tune: Speak

It's true, I've never fully outgrown it. I was a big fan in my highschool and college days, and while my tastes today are substantially broadened, sometimes you've just got to return home.

What is "it"?

Heavy Metal.

True. I'm tempted to say it's my secret shame, but anyone who has seen my Itunes list, or noticed PD1 and PD2 and I rockin' out in the car together knows, its not exactly a secret. One fun time that we had together was last year during a rain delay in one of PD1's soccer games. I had five or six of the kids under the tailgate of my car, while I was inside manning the radio. Somehow, we managed to hit a station that was rockin' hard, and they were playing a combination of music from the past 30 years. So we heard everything from Hendrix, to Metallica, to yes, Godsmack. It was terrific fun. After about 40 minutes, the rain stopped and our team dominated.

"Wow, they were really charged up" one of the parents said. I just smiled knowingly.

So last night with Mrs. P in Amsterdam I popped the cork on a 2001 La Lagune and did some channel surfing. Low and behold there was Godsmack on the Jimmy Kimmel concert series rockin' the house. I never watch Kimmel, but I do have today's particular selection, "Speak" on my Itunes and I marveled how the more thing change the more they stay the same. Way back when, we hung in somebody's basement, secretly drank beer and played AC/DC, Zepplin and others on the LP player. Today, I'm drinkin' French Bordeaux, takin' care of the kids, and rockin' to Godsmack on my TV.

Heh.

This video is pretty good too. Great imagery, hot bikes, hot cars, hot babes.

Oh yeah, and it's pretty loud. Turn the speakers up!

We're All Democrats Now

It has come to this. A Republican president, joined by a hapless Republican congress is now calling for investigations into price gouging and the all purpose phrase, "corporate greed".

Excuse me, but what the hell is going on?

More of that Rovian genius I keep hearing the libbies talk about I guess, so I suppose all of this is above me, but were I to be completely candid, and I think that is exactly what I'll be, I'd call it the dumbest political strategy to come down the pike in quite awhile. As you all know, I like facts, so lets see what we have.

1. The current spike in oil prices has nothing to do with "corporate greed"
2. There is nothing in the short term that can be done about lowering oil (read gas) prices unless we were to suspend taxes at the pump.
3. It is unclear that increased oil prices are at the margin a bad thing. Painful, yes, but bad, hard to say.
4. This nation has done nothing to develop a long-term strategic energy policy over the past quarter century.
5. Both political parties are responsible for this, but it is an undeniable fact that there is far greater fault with liberal environmental groups and their enablers, the Democrats.

So the question then is why, when the whole sorry history of this country's energy policy ineptitude comes home to roost in the form of high gas prices, do the Republicans choose to follow the political strategy of the Democrats. As a reminder, the Democrats are the same party that has managed to lose 70% of the last 10 presidential elections and both houses of congress. Investigations, price controls, wind fall profits taxes, anything but drill for more oil and build nuke plants, these have been the sorry suggestions of the Democrats. What a brilliant idea then to turn to their playbook now that the failure of their generation of obstruction is obvious to all.

Where is our Republican president? Look, I've never believed the guy was a conservative, but for goodness sake, his proposals today are so pathetic it is almost not to be believed. Then the beauty part. I'm watching FOX News this morning and Bill Frist, the doctor who looks like a mortician, is on and actually suggests......now I'm warning you hang on to your hats because this is gonna be good......he actually suggesst that we make sure our cars are tuned up because that will make them more efficient.

Beautiful, friggin beautiful man. Where do they get this stuff? Tune up my car? Investigate the oil companies? I swear man I damn near expect Bush to be on my TV soon complaining about the great maliase that has spread across the land. Really, if I wanted Jimmy Carter - the worst president in the history of the U.S. - back in office I would have voted for the guy.

Now is the time for leadership. Where are the speeches, the calls to action. Where is the national energy policy that proposes new drilling, nuke construction, and in a throw away to the Democrats, "alternative fuels studies". A bill should be going before congress in the next 10 days with a demand for action before the summer recess. Bush could remind people that had his policy been passed back in '01 we'd be five years down the road by now.

How hard is this stuff?

Look, nobody said being president was easy and there is no question that Bush has had it much harder than most. He is leading a country that is at war, fighting an enemy with no homefront, in a war with no clear battle lines and is hobbled by an unloyal Democratic party that cynically insists that "Bush lied and people died". Yes these people are liars. Yes they put party favor above love of country and yes, dealing with such treachery must be tiring.

Really though, those of us who are idealogically inclined to support the president have nothing, nothing to rally around and it has been this way since Bush won re-election in 2004. I'm sorry George, but we didn't vote you back in office so you could take a four year victory lap. We voted for you, some of us with our eye shut on the whole spending thing, because we needed action, we needed a leader and we knew that John Kerry was even less up to the job than you were.

Wake. Up. Now.

In Praise of Snobs; The Dinner Invitation

Although I read a couple of newspapers each day, I don’t typically read the Chicago Tribune. Almost without exception I spend my morning train ride going through the Wall Street Journal, and then the Liberal Death Star’s daily publication. After that the Tribune really doesn’t seem to add much except color pictures. To paraphrase Chrissie Hynde, “Way – to – go – Chicago”.

Anyway, Thursday was the same, but with a few minutes left in my ride I noticed a discarded “Tempo” section of the Trib and picked it up to see what was going on with the cultural zeitgeist of this country’s great Midwest. There were two full pages of comics, a less than complementary review of Julia Roberts’ first appearance ever on Broadway, and an article on how heavy metal bands look to the classics for inspiration – as if that was news to anyone who’s seen (and loved) “This is Spinal Tap”.

There were also a couple of advice columns. One seems to be written by Dear Abby’s daughter (“is Abby dead?” I wondered) and the other was penned by a middle aged gal with the perky, non-threatening moniker, “Amy”. The first letter in Amy’s column grabbed my eye, because it concerned an issue that irks me to no end, albeit in a slightly different way.

The question, and I’m quoting from memory here so this will not be exact, was:

“When I invite people over for dinner they always ask what they can bring. My response is nothing, it is easier for me just to stick to the menu that I’ve planned, yet they continue to insist that they provide some portion of the meal!”

I didn’t pay attention to Amy’s response so I can’t tell you how to resolve this sticky issue, but I can tell you that this is really a bit of a thorny issue with me from the opposite side of this question.

See, the thing that I can’t figure out is this; when did it become acceptable manners to invite somebody over to your house for dinner, and then tell them what they should bring as their “contribution” to the meal? Isn’t this contrary to the whole reason we invite friends over? Shouldn’t the focus be on what we can do to demonstrate our regard of and appreciation for their company?

Put more directly, isn’t this abominable practice just plain old rude?

The answer, of course, is “yes, it is rude in the extreme”.

I know, I know the times the have a changed and all that, but to honest, change isn’t always a good thing, and like so much of what used to be considered common decency, this change is just another lowering of the bar in American cultural life. While it is true that nobody is really hurt by this change, it is undeniably another step down in the coarsening of our culture. Manners are important in the social realm of things. They serve to provide a set of standards for how we treat others, and what we expect of them, and they also provide a roadmap, with an easily understood legend, on how we show regard and respect for those that we care about.

Perhaps more importantly manners also serve another purpose in our society, and while it may not be pleasant to talk about, I think we need to be clear here folks. Manners separate those of us who aspire to a higher standard from those happy members of the hot nacho cheese set. I acknowledge that this might seem to be an uncomfortable topic for some, but I must confess that I really don’t know why.

Holding oneself to a higher standard is a noble aspiration, of which we should be proud. While high standards do not in and of themselves make us better human beings, they do make life a pursuit that is worth living. This being true, why then would we willingly lower these standards just to indulge in somebody’s “sinful sweet potato” casserole!?

Talk about lowered standards.

In my view, far too many steps have been taken by our generation to “democratize” social discourse. The sad result has been that in too many cases we’re subjected to the coarseness of those who’s folks really should have taught them better; The foul mouthed parents at the soccer field, embarrassingly rooting for junior to “kick the other team’s **s”. Or the couple who decide to “dirty dance” in the middle of the holiday open house thinking that nobody will notice that hubby’s hand is in his wife’s pants.

I could go on, but we’ve all been witness to one or more of these cultural horrors, and my sincere hope dear Pursuit-o-philes, is that we can look to ourselves to expect better. True, asking friends to supply a “dish to pass” isn’t the greatest social sin one can commit, yet it is excusing these seemingly small transgressions that put us on the slippery slope to social mayhem.

Of course I will acknowledge that even given all of the above, there are times when such behavior is acceptable. The church “pot-luck”, the summer block party, or perhaps the gridiron “tailgate”. By all means, if you are organizing one of these events, and want somebody else to supply their "famous three bean salad" go for it!

But consider that the common denominator in these events is perhaps the fact that each is an occasion where, by necessity, folks from all walks of life are getting together for a larger purpose – I use the term loosely. The truth is that while people in these groups may choose to associate with some of the attendees, it is highly unlikely that they would do so with all of the attendees. In fact, if I know social events like I think I do, it is quite possible that there are even folks thrown together in these situations who loathe one another.

So why then would anyone conduct themselves in a similar manner with those whom they consider their friends? I have no answer for this and if you’ve stuck with me this far, I doubt you do either.

After all, when you’re preparing a dinner, how hard is it, to also make a salad and desert?

The Good Reverend

Oooooh baby, listen to this weekend's rockin' tune.

Thats right, it's the good reverend, Al Green singing "Lets Stay Together".

One question: Can you dig it?

I know I can. I remember the first time I heard the Rev, or at least the first time I noticed him. It was back in the early '70's, probably around 1972. Back then all we had to listen to was AM radio, but since we didn't know any better, it was good enough. If you were a kid growing up in Chicago, then you had two choices, WLS or WCFL. Me? I was an 'LS sort of guy.

It was during this time that Mr. Green entered into my life and changed it forever. Every night I'd go to bed with my little transistor radio on. Permanently tuned to WLS, I was introduced to the greats; The Stones, Creedence, The Doors, The Staple Singers, The Jackson Five, and of course Al Green. Man, Al was the coolest. I don't remember the first song that I heard him perform, but it probably was this weekend's selection. Smooth, sexy, and soulfull, Al Green defined what it meant to not only sing a song, but to feel it, and make others feel it too.

Of course, Al is best remembered for his sexy tunes, but anything the man crooned had the power to move your soul. Don't believe me? Listen to him sing "Take me to the River" sometime and try to tell me he was only about lovin'

Still, lovin was where he excelled and man he set the standard. I heard an NPR interview with him a few years back and he related how this talent of his was a source of trouble and confusion in his life. Al, apparently, grew up in a fairly strict family and so when he made his name singing songs that people made love to, he thought perhaps that this was wrong, maybe even sinful. So he stopped for several years and just sang gospel. Then one day it occurred to him that perhaps he had it all wrong. Perhaps, God gave him a talent that brought people together and what was wrong was not using it in the way it moved people the most.

And so he is back, and we my friends are better for it. Have a listen and tell me I'm wrong. While you're at it, try to pick out sounds that other musicians have tried to mimic over time. It's stunning once you realize how many have taken bits and pieces of Al Green's sound. Michael Jackson? Yup. Prince, you'll hear what influenced him too. I could go on, but why spoil the fun for you? After you put your own list together consider this one thing;

Al is the only one with the total package. Enjoy.

Beam Scotty Up!

Oh fare thee well my Scotty boy, today was a long time comin' for those of us who never grew accustomed to your tortured press room briefings. The strategy of deploying a spokesman less eloquent than the most ineloquent president in recent history was one of those Rovian strategies that were simply lost on me. So I bid you adieu dear mumbling warrior, and wish you well.

Perhaps in a desk job.

But please, not on my television. See the kids have trouble enough with grammar.

Bring on Tony Snow!

What Fresh New Hell Awaits?

I am concerned.

No, check that, I am alarmed. Very alarmed.

I think we can all agree that we live in a trying age, and regardless of where one turns these days, the simple comforts of life that we as Americans have become accustomed to, are under siege. I now, more than ever, understand that famous curse, “May you live in interesting times”.

Today, however, I became aware of a new horror that stalks this land. Its ugly shadow casts a pall on all that is good and decent in our country, and life as we know it stands to change forever unless we do something about it.

What is this horror you ask? Crazy Mullahs with Nukes? Gas at $4 per gallon? Serial killers loose in the streets? Well yes, these things may in fact become a reality for Americans, but I am not so concerned about them; we’ll find a way to solve such problems. No, I’m talking about a horror so unprecedented, so invasive to our personal lives, and so creepy, that it is almost inconceivable that otherwise normal people are already accepting it as a reality.

I’m talking about roommates. Specifically, roommates on business trips.

With your office colleagues.

Including the guy with the bizarre personal noises emanating from his cubicle.

And the woman with the overpowering perfume.

Now, all of them and others can be yours 24/7 on your very next business trip.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

I’m not joking about this people. I read it today in the business section of the nation’s newspaper of record. In an effort to cut costs businesses are, with increasing frequency, asking their employees to “bunk up” on trips in an effort to save travel expenses.

The incredible thing is that some folks are actually going along with this bizarre request. According to the Times, the sharing of hotel rooms with colleagues has long been the practice in academia where we all know those of little merit have sold their souls for the holy grail of tenure. What we didn’t know was just how much of their dignity they’ve sacrificed in the process as well. Still, considering that our ivory towers are packed to the gills with aging stoners and worn out communists it doesn’t come as a complete surprise.

What does surprise me though is how many business people seem to be going along with this bunking arrangement. Highlighted in the article were two women, pathetic specimens to be sure, who spoke of how they’ve found the experience enriching. Enriching, can you believe it? While they admit to some initial reluctance, they now embrace the practice (if not each other, but one can never be sure about these things) as an opportunity for “team building”. God, the mind reels.

Yet there it was, true as the new day’s sun. It seems our two middle aged matrons found they had a lot in common. Their dads had died at approximately the same time so they were able to comfort each other, which I guess was the ice breaker in this relationship. Soon after a couple more business trips, these two gals found that they had so much more to talk about! There were family problems and personal issues, the kid’s schools, and much, much more. Why their list of topics was so exhaustive it’s a wonder they just didn’t stay on some sort of permanent business trip, learn to play the acoustic guitar and chat their lives away as part of some sort of estrogen fueled utopia!

“You find out so much about your co-workers” they said.

This is a good thing? Listen, I work with some great folks. I enjoy seeing them in the morning, and I wish them all a goodnight when I return home. They all seem like fantastic folks, and to the extent that this is because I’m unaware of all their troubling personal habits all the better!

I often remember the Seinfeld episode where Elaine couldn’t see the point of celebrating co-workers’ birthdays. There was the bizarre ritual of gathering the office in a conference room, and the cake that nobody liked. Worst of all was the obligatory, “I had no idea” and mock look of surprise on the honoree’s face. All of these things were part of what Elaine referred to as a “program of forced socialization” that accomplished little other than convince those with low self esteem that they really did have friends.

In recent years this trend seems to have died a rightful death and I thought we were all coming to our senses. Office parties hold an important place in our culture, an honored place. But that place includes liquor, fumbling sexual advances and ending the night face down in a taxi with your address written in lipstick across your forehead. Anything less just somehow doesn’t feel quite right.

Instead though, we now have co-occupied hotel rooms for “team building” and the Oprahfried “sharing of feelings”. It makes me sick to even contemplate such a horror. Is this what feminism hath wrought? Or is this nerdistic cost cutting gone wild? Either way I find myself appalled that otherwise reasonable adults are consenting to these arrangements and they must be stopped dead in their tracks before they impact my life!

After how will we ever cope? I don’t know how, but I suppose on some level one could get accustomed to his co-workers snoring, or bizarre pre-bed rituals. I can’t imagine but I guess bathroom arrangements could be worked out through a series of delicate negotiations.

Still, some things simply cannot be negotiated. For example, who gets the last scotch in the mini-bar? Or another; how will roommates ever decide which porno to order on pay-per view? And most importantly, if your roommate orders a hooker is he required to share? Are you required to participate? Or watch? Or should you just bury your head in a pillow and weep silently to block out the gruesome noise?

Just kidding on that last point.

Still, you can see what I’m getting at, no?