Yes, But We Support The Troops

Well, I am now officially speechless; slackjawed with absolutely nothing to say. The New York Times, who's editorial board and reporters, who all support the troops don't cha ya know, has listed the attached link in a "memorable pictures" slideshow. From the site:

"A sniper loyal to Shiite cleric Moqtada al Sadr fires towards U.S. positions in the cemetery in Najaf, Iraq.

Michele McNally: “Right there with the Mahdi army. Incredible courage.”

Umm, well not exactly deary. Your honorable sniper who is loyal to the Shite cleric is actually a scumbag terrorist shooting at American soldiers and trying to kill our sons and daughters. As Jeff Goldstein points out, this is not incredible courage, this is what it looks like to be used as a tool for the enemy. And make no mistake about it, the NYT these days seems to have an over abundance of tools on their staff.

But go ahead dear Michele. Sit there in your comfortable little air conditioned cube and stare at pictures of the Sadr "freedom fighters" as you get all moist thinking about their heroic resistance to the Bushitler occupying forces. They're so strong! So sweaty and full of the musky scent of true rebels! Such animal passion! So authentic! Not anything like a silly college grad who, you know, wanted to do something important with her life but instead took a comfy job in New York so she could feel the vibe of the city and now wonders if maybe, maybe, she might have sold out.

Just try not to ruin your lusty visions with any inconvenient thoughts about how your Mr. Sadr, the Shite cleric, would separate your head from your body and mail it to your parents for the crime of, you know, not being covered and stuff.

Idiot.

Rockin' Tune of the Weekend: The Hives

PD1 and I have an ongoing debate about which of today's bands can be considered punk. I won't rehash that argument here, but I will say that two bands occupy the opposite ends of our agreement spectrum. First, we have the band on which we disagree most vehemently; Greenday.

PD1 will argue until the cows come home (and on a recent trip to Indianapolis she actually did just that) that Billy Joe and the boys are punk defined. While the structure and power of her opinion is impressive for a 14 year old, any true music fan immediately recognizes this opinion for what it is.

Total bunk.

Greenday, may have been "punkish" when they first hit in the early '90's, but they never were punk despite the best efforts of their publicists to convince us otherwise. In fact, the band from that era that was most punk was a wonderful little group from LA of all places called Offspring.

But I digress. Today's selection represents the band that we both can agree on: The Hives. Man these guys just rock. While it is hard to find a true punk band these days, PD1 and I find common ground in our opinions on The Hives. It's true, their tunes are fantastic, and they're full of attitude.

The best thing about these guys though, is that they're from Sweden.

Can you believe it? Sweden, land of snow, cold and the originators of the concept of "bland"! I mean I'm sure Sweden is a wonderful place, and I hear the women are very attractive, but culturally, if we're going to be totally honest, our friends the Swedes haven't really been pulling their own weight.

First we all remember that instead of putting a stop to the nonsense before it gained momentum, the Swedes unleashed ABBA on the world. A horrifying sonic assault of cloyingly sweet diddies about nothing in particular, ABBA at one time was so successful as to have represented something like 90% of the country's GNP. Interestingly, I heard that as a result most of the money in Sweden during that time was stained with peach lip gloss and bubblegum residue. Which would be just desserts, but my guess is the Swedes may have actually liked that.

Then we have Lutefisk. For those of you lucky enough to have escaped any contact with this loathsome dish allow me to educate you. Lutefisk is fish that has been preserved in lye and buried in the ground. Can you imagine the deranged mind that came up with this contribution to the culinary arts? Even more bizarre is the fact that the lye thing is wholly unnecessary! I mean come on! The whole friggin' country is frozen solid 11 months of the year, so just bury the fish in the ground Sven!

No, Sweden really hasn't been good for much to be completely honest. Now, though, we have something the Carlssons, Peterssons and Nielssons can be proud of. We have The Hives. If there is any justice in this world gone mad, the King (they have a King don't they?) will give them some sort of award.

So there you go. Today's lesson: Greenday = wussie boys, The Swedes = bizarrely depressive fish preservers and The Hives = punk.

Anybody who disagrees is itchin' for a fight.

Fasting: It's Not Just For Cindy Anymore!

This shocking video reveals that fasting, long the proprietary tactic of the left, can now be embraced by us righties too!

You know, because we support the troops and all.

Gay Games?

Well we're very excited, all a twitter you might say, here in Chicago! This weekend kicks off the week long Gay Games extravaganza!

I personally don't have any problems with our gay friends running and jumping all over town, in fact, compared to the Pride Parade I think it's great. The problem for me is that the whole thing seems a bit contrived don't you think? I mean gay games? Why on earth would we need that?

I understand the Special Olympics (which if you're lucky I'll write about the day I umped a softball game for some mentally disabled kids - deeply moving), but a special set aside for gay athletics seems bizarre to me. I mean why this distinction? Are Gay atheletes not able to compete elsewhere? Do they have some novel approach that would cause people to think, "Sure, I've seen Figure Skating, but what I really want to watch is Gay Figure Skating".

Ok, maybe that isn't the best example.

Still, what is the point? It's as if I hosted a series of games for guys who had people who dreamt that they looked like David Ogden Stiers! Sure, it's a valid distinction, and indeed a very scary one in, but given all that, it is not the type of thing that necessarily makes for great competition.

Or great viewing for that matter!

Still, the games will go on and we here at the POH wish our intrepid competitors nothing but the best. I have just one question.

Is there some test to make sure the gay competitors are truly gay?

Selection Bias Illustrated

Well this is about the dumbest use of scientific research that I have seen come down the pike in a long time. As the linked article describes, researchers at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine gave 36 volunteers the active drug in "magic mushrooms", psilocybin, and then had the test subjects describe their experience. Unsurprisingly, the subjects were somewhat overwhelmed and described profoundly mood altering trips that crossed the border of normal consciousness into the mystical.

Umm, why do you think they call them "hallucinogens"? Are we sure these guys are doctors?

After collecting the data, researchers found that these subjects often described their trips as some of the more profound experiences that they've ever had, bordering on the religious. In some cases people suggested that their behavior was changed for weeks after the experiments. The conclusion that our researchers seemed to draw was that psilocybin held promise for helping people learn to love and care more for their fellow man.

My conclusion, as you can imagine, was somewhat different; Selection bias. Our researchers unwittingly picked an experimental group that needed to get a life:

"The study volunteers had an average age of 46, had never used hallucinogens, and participated to some degree in religious or spiritual activities like prayer, meditation, discussion groups or religious services. Each tried psilocybin during one visit to the lab and the stimulant methylphenidate (better known as Ritalin) on one or two other visits. Only six of the volunteers knew when they were getting psilocybin."

Hmmmmm, lets see.....our subjects averaged 46 years of age. That would mean they went to high school in the late seventies and to college in the early 80's and yet they never, ever managed to use any hallucinogenic substances? What in God's name were they doing then when they put on Dark Side of the Moon?! The obvious answer is that they were doing nothing, that couldn't be accomplished in the AV lounge, or the library - not that there is anything wrong with that - it's just that these folks aren't likely to have had a whole lot of exciting experiences from which they could credibly compare sitting in a lab with a blindfold on tripping their brains out.

I'm not 'fessing up to anything here folks, other than having had a good time in my youth at certain moments, but as any veteran of the '70's will tell you, drugs are not the way to finding spiritual fulfillment, or any sort of inner peace. They're nothing more than a way to check out for a while.

That, and be incredibly entertained by flicking the room lights on and off in time to the beat of the music.

Holy Smokes!

Scene: Pursuit stepping out on the back patio, inhales deeply

Pursuit: "Ahhhhhhhhhhh...do you smell that?"

Mrs. P rolling eyes: "Yes, dear I do"

Pursuit: "I love the smell of cherry wood in the morning."

Mrs. P: "Yes, I'm sure the neighbors do as well dear"

Pursuit taking another deep breath and exhaling: "It smells like.......it smells like victory!"

End of scene.

Well, I woke up this morning and as we discussed what today's culinary adventure might be, Mrs. P suggested I whip some more of those fine pork ribs that I prepared last Sunday. While I thought this might be an excellent idea, I've been hankerin' for some beef brisket and so a plan was born.

Typically I like to do beef with apple wood, but tragically I seem to be out so I'm going to try a little something different today. I'm starting with Cherry wood, which should carry me through most of the day. I am doing a 6 pound brisket and I think I'm going to go for around 11 hours, low and slow which means I'll have to shift to hickory at some point. In my opinion hickory doesn't work as well with beef, but I'm told by many folks that I'm just plain wrong on this issue so we'll see what happens.

Above, are starting pics of the raw brisket, and then the rubbed brisket as it was entering the smoking chamber.

More later.

UPDATE: Monday morning. Sorry, things got a little busy yesterday. End result: Mixed I'd say. I smoked at around 160 degrees, which was too low to break down the fibers. I did the full 11 hours, and while taste was good, and the moisture level was excellent, the meat was still a bit tough. I might go ahead and put it in the oven, covered for 2 hours tonight at 220 to see if I can't break it down a bit.

Behold The Glory!

The glorious day has arrived my friends! As I originally posted here, after months of planning, ordering, waiting, and installing, our new bathroom is virtually complete. Although a few items need to be tweaked, the bathroom is in working order.

And you know what that means don't you?

Yup! The urinal is in place and ready for action!

Oh, it is a glorious sight, a glorious sight indeed. Mounted with craftsmen like perfection it stands ready like a silent sentinel alert and on guard for duty.

Just have a look at that piece of work. That my friends is no ordinary urinal. Oh no, that little porcelain beauty is a Toto UE 930 "Lloyd" Urinal With Electronic Flush Valve. And as the only man in the house it is mine, all mine!

Leave the seat down? Hah! I laugh at such a thought! No seat for this guy just step up, zip down and get to business. Everything in life should be so easy. And when I'm done, what could be more manly than what happens next?

I just walk away.

That's it! No lingering commitments, no putting the seat down, no flushing the toilet. Just me, a greatly relieved bladder and the comforting "woooosh" of my electronic flush.

As good as that is though, I've got some news for my fellow men out there. Wonderful, oh so typically man news that is the real beauty part.

Now that I don't have to remember to put the seat down do you know what happens? Brace yourself....it's diabolical!

I get to yell at the women for not putting the top down on their disgusting toilet!

As those two guys say on the Guinness commercial, "BRILLIANT!"