Behold The Glory!

The glorious day has arrived my friends! As I originally posted here, after months of planning, ordering, waiting, and installing, our new bathroom is virtually complete. Although a few items need to be tweaked, the bathroom is in working order.

And you know what that means don't you?

Yup! The urinal is in place and ready for action!

Oh, it is a glorious sight, a glorious sight indeed. Mounted with craftsmen like perfection it stands ready like a silent sentinel alert and on guard for duty.

Just have a look at that piece of work. That my friends is no ordinary urinal. Oh no, that little porcelain beauty is a Toto UE 930 "Lloyd" Urinal With Electronic Flush Valve. And as the only man in the house it is mine, all mine!

Leave the seat down? Hah! I laugh at such a thought! No seat for this guy just step up, zip down and get to business. Everything in life should be so easy. And when I'm done, what could be more manly than what happens next?

I just walk away.

That's it! No lingering commitments, no putting the seat down, no flushing the toilet. Just me, a greatly relieved bladder and the comforting "woooosh" of my electronic flush.

As good as that is though, I've got some news for my fellow men out there. Wonderful, oh so typically man news that is the real beauty part.

Now that I don't have to remember to put the seat down do you know what happens? Brace yourself....it's diabolical!

I get to yell at the women for not putting the top down on their disgusting toilet!

As those two guys say on the Guinness commercial, "BRILLIANT!"

Bill Bennett, Superman and My Drive To Work This Morning

The following is a comment I wrote to Lein Shory this evening. I ended up getting so distracted that I didn't have time to do that, write a post and write a letter to PD2, so you guys have to suffer a bit. I'm reposting my comment here, because to be completely honest, this story just cracks me up.




Lein,

I thought of your review this morning as I was driving to work. I happened to be listening to Bill Bennett when he and his listeners were discussing Superman. I guess there has been some talk about this Superman being gay, which aside from the whole trashing of another American icon thing, doesn't really surprise or bother me....I mean tights and a cape? Hello?

At any rate, one caller phoned in and was discussing how the super baby (they really have a super baby now?) proved that Superman was not gay. Of course Bennett pointed out that this was not definitive as anyone who has ever been on a bender can attest. Bennett then expressed concern that Superman did not marry the mother which we all know makes the super baby illegitimate. The caller reassured Bill that Superman did once marry Lois Lane, at the beginning of SM II, but then had to renig on the marriage to get his powers back so he could save the world. Apparently he kissed Lois so that she forgot about the whole marriage thing. Bennett correctly pointed out that this was the first time in history any woman has forgotten she was married.

At this point I'm just slack jawed in amazement....I mean I think these guys may have forgotten that Superman doesn't really exist. Which is when it began to get interesting. Bill kind of kept insisting that Superman really should marry Lois to make it all ok, even though they really are still married because you can't undo that sort of thing. The caller, God love him, suggested to Bill that even if they weren't really married it was ok, because Superman is an alien! Yup, and as an alien, if he isn't exactly the marryin' kind, well that's ok because it "will take him some time to adjust to our earthly customs".

True story.

Me? Well I just think this is another good example of how illegal immigration is destroying this country!

Dammit.

"Hello Freedom Man"

I wasn't going to do a special Fourth of July post; there seems to be an awful lot of them out there and one more from me isn't really going to add much. Then yesterday I heard a news item on the radio that a new poll is out which claims that something like 74% of conservatives and only 44% of liberals are proud of our country.

This was deeply disturbing to me for obvious reasons. I, by no means, believe our country is perfect, but given all that we have done to shape the course of human events for the betterment of man, how could anyone not be proud of this country? To think of a world that is absent of the United States' impact on history is to think of a fairly dark place indeed.

At any rate, I also heard this morning, a story that was told by Ronald Reagan during his fairwell address. I've copied it at the end of this post. I think it captures the importance of the U.S., and reminds us of why, in the face of those who lack the courage to stand tall for freedom in this world, those of us who believe in our country can continue to be proud of what we've done.

Have a safe and happy Fourth of July.

Oh, and to my friends in the UK, Happy Thanksgiving!

"I've been reflecting on what the past eight years have meant and mean. And the image that comes to mind like a refrain is a nautical one--a small story about a big ship, and a refugee and a sailor. It was back in the early '80s, at the height of the boat people. And the sailor was hard at work on the carrier Midway, which was patrolling the South China Sea. The sailor, like most American servicemen, was young, smart, and fiercely observant. The crew spied on the horizon a leaky little boat. And crammed inside were refugees from Indochina hoping to get to America. The Midway sent a small launch to bring them to the ship and safety. As the refugees made their way through the choppy seas, one spied the sailor on deck and stood up and called out to him. He yelled, "Hello, American sailor. Hello, freedom man."

Holy Smokes; The Final Report

From the clear view of the next morning, yesterday's excercise in the manly art of meat smoking (Geeze, that is probably going to get me a google hit from Sully), can't be viewed as anything other than a success. The meat had a delicious, smokey flavor, that I swear, penetrated to the bone and despite the long time in the smoking chamber everything remained extremely moist. I made one mistake in that the meat was a bit salty. Next time I'll pull back on the salt in the rub, and also brine for less time on the ribs, perhaps only an hour.

As for the specifics;

9 hour ribs: I'm not one of these folks that judges bar be que by the ease with which meat separates from the bone since I often find this is just an excuse for those who take the decidely unmanly step of par boiling their meat before they smoke. That said, the 9 hour ribs separated cleanly, yet still maintained a firm meaty texture in the mouth. While still very moist, I thought the meat was perhaps a bit compacted; not bad, but any longer in the smoker would probably have been a mistake.

6 hour ribs: Surprisingly good separation, yet still a little adherence to the bone. The meat was incredibly moist with a nice smoky flavor that penetrated almost to the bone. It would have been interesting to leave these on for 30 - 60 more minutes to see if I could get the separation of the 9 hour, with the almost perfect moistness and flavor of the 6 hour.

Pork Shoulder: 11 hours baby. 11 effin' hours! Even after all of that time the meat was still incredibly moist. I'm pretty sure that I could have gone another two hours, which would have been interesting because I think I was near an inflection point with this cut. While extremely tender, the should wasn't quite shredible with a fork, yet in the mouth it felt like it was just beginning to break down. An hour or two more probably would have preserved the moistness, while breaking down the meat a little bit more. Still, this stuff was excellent. When I pulled it the internal temp was 165 degrees.

Holy Smokes; Progress Report

My shirt is permanently imbedded with the smokey goodness of hickory. The deviled eggs are made. I'm off to make the Mozzerella di Buffola salad. I've attached a picture of everything as it sits on the smoker at the 9.5 hour mark for shoulder, the 7.5 hour for the ribs in the front, and the 4.5 hour mark for the ribs to the side of the shoulder.

More later

Holy Smokes!

Dinner prep started this morning at 7a.m. when I began brining my ribs and pork shoulder. I really should have done this last night, but I was over at a friend's house for whole sea bass cooked on the grill. It was fantastic, especially since he served it with a Thai curry sauce, a crunchy cabage salad and rice. So, I didn't get home until late and had to adjust plans accordingly.

As such the early morning sun found me brining and firing up the Big Baby. I plan to eat tonight at 8 so I wanted to get the shoulder on for a full 11 hours. Right on schedule I popped the meat on at 9, and followed with a slab of ribs at 11. I'll pop the other slab on at 2 which will give me the opportunity to test the difference between ribs smoked for 9 and 6 hours.

I'm keeping my temps at 170 - 200 degrees which requires near constant vigiliance, and I'm mopping with a vinegar based brew every hour our so. The pics above are the meat before the rub was applied, the meat as it was loaded into the Big Baby, and the Big Baby itself, doing its special thang.

More later.

UPDATE: What is the deal with the date function? Just noticed this little technical glitch, safe to say, we did not have many leaves on the trees in January of '05!

UPDATE II: I'll admit I"m two gin and tonics into the final stretch, but has anyone ever realized just how good Neal Young is with the scent of hickory wafting into the air? "Down by the river....."

Rocking Tune of the Weekend: The John Butler Trio

I don't know much about this band, all I know is that this is one groovy tune. It rocks, it rolls, and it cuts through your cranium with a boogying excellence that leaves you wanting more.

Here's to you Mr. Butler and your most excellent trio.