Friday, December 29, 2006
Oh, Great Seer, How Did You Do?
In this space a year ago, I mixed up a Manhattan and made some predictions for the year that would become 2006. How did I do? Well, I'm thinkin' I might have gotten a hold of some bad vermouth cuz it seems I made some incredible mis-calls. Lets rate the results:
In the 2006 mid-terms Democrats will once again snatch defeat with a death grip from the jaws of victory and gain no seats in the House or Senate. In fact, they may lose some. Whoa, talk about leading off with a doosey! Clearly missed on this one, but I will take some solice in the fact that the Dems did their darndest to screw it up and came close to succeeding.
The Chicago Bears, after a surprising defeat of the Seattle SeaHawks on their home turf will lose the Superbowl to the New England Patriots in one of the hardest hitting, well fought gridiron battles of recent years. Old timers will be heard far and wide to remark, "yup, that's the way they used to play the game". Ok, well niether the Bears nor the Pats made the big one. In fact the Bears were embarrassed on their home field in a pathetic loss to the Panthers. For the most part, old timers were disgusted. That is unless they clobber the Pittsburgh Steelers in a defensive gem. Glutten for punishment aren't I? This year though....... Osama, my most wanted man-a, will be found to have been dead, and will remain dead for all of eternity. White Flag Murtha will be heard to mutter, "I shouldn't have let Dean buy me that extra martini at lunch". Well not a total loss here, Osama is still dead and Murtha is a disgrace, so I'll count it as a win. Pursuit will be unexpectedly called to the stage at Chicago's United Center on January 22nd to sing "Dead Flowers" when Mick needs a short breather. Critics will hail this "fresh new era" of the World's Greatest Rock and Roll Band. In what can only be explained as an incredible loss of opportunity for the rock n' roll world, this did not happen. Unfounded and vehemently denied rumors of an affair with Chrissie Hynde will be floated in Rolling Stone shortly thereafter. When asked to comment Chrissie will say, with a distant look in her eye, "only if...." My guess is she would do this if the above happened so we'll say the jury is still out. Mrs. P will roll her eyes! Perhaps my most accurate prediction... The Yanks will win the series in five. Or not Trumpet's long running and highly entertaining tale of love, lust, romance and ultimately redemption will end with a tragic not completely unforeseen twist. Well it was a twist, but hardly tragic....unless the book never see's the light of day. A conservative revival that belatedly and wonderfully renounces goofballs and hucksters such as Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter and the rest of they're crayon scribbling ilk will begin and be led by a surprising figure. Well we're getting there, but no it didn't happen yet. Look for my friends Bo Steed and Major X to have something to say about this in the new year. This guy will continue to write one of the most thoughtful blogs out there. Um, nope Sadly, this guy won't. Um, yes The curtain of silence that protects the MSM from itself will be pierced when one major news outlet investigates another. Subscriptions will be canceled heads will roll. Kind of true at the Times. Institutional shareholders are near revolt and the insurgency that started with blogs is beginning to attract mainstream advocacy. My buddies here will continue to post some of the funniest bits out there. They have, but with less frequency. Michelle will have a great year in the mountains. And in the Middle East currently. Duf will become a neo-con after another year of reading my inspired political writing. I think Duf may have died. Joe Wilson, in a desperate attempt to keep his 15 minutes alive, will do something to further discredit his wife. True Zarqawi will die. Also, happily true. A grateful world will rejoice. Yup It will be a happy and prosperous new year for all my blog buddies. Yup too.