Pursuit of Happiness: A Tortured Apology

Big Boys Don't Cry

Well the pressure that comes with making statements on the floor of the senate which undermine your country's credibility and put your fighting men and women at greater danger, finally became too much yesterday, and Senator Dubin waddled down to the well of the Senate to apologize.

Kind of:

"Some may believe that my remarks crossed the line," said the Illinois Democrat, at times holding back tears. "To them I extend my heartfelt apologies."

There was more, but this captures the essence of what he said. I just don't get it. Couldn't the man just stand up like a man and say, "oops, sorry folks I was wrong. Please forgive me". Instead we get the tired half apology, half blame those who took offense approach that is so comon for politician's these days. One wonders who they think they are fooling at this point.

At any rate, it would be bad form to continue to press the issue, and since we all know our teary eyed Dick didn't really feel he did anything wrong this is about as good as its going to get. So apology accepted Dick.

And there is a much larger issue to discuss here: What the hell is wrong with American men?

I don't mean to single out Teary Dick, for he is just the latest example, but why in the world has it become acceptable, even encouraged, for American men to blubber in public at the drop of the hat? Just in the past few weeks we've seen Voinovich weep in the senate, and Dan Rather weep at a commencement address.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not against male weeping when there is something to cry about, but for goodness sake, these wimps let the tears flow at virtually the drop of a hat. Is this something women like in men? I can't believe we've moved so far from traditional male/female roles that public blubbering about minor issues is something women look for in their men, but maybe I'm out of touch.

I blame the liberals. Who else could be responsible? Oh sure there was a time when men were to insecure about showing their feelings, but we've long sense departed from that norm. Now we must examine whether we've gone to far, and if so, who is responsible. Given any normal testosterone producing man would agree that we have indeed crossed the line of decency, we can move on to the culprits.

Liberals. Phil Donahue, was an early mover in this trend. Alan Alda. God, who could forget all those wretched MASH shows were Hawkeye Pierce prostletized about the importance of men revealing there sensitivity. I could go on, but more important work needs to be done. We need to stop this scourge.

Its times like these when I turn to a great authority on manliness. Oh sure, you'll say the man was a criminal and a killer. Trivial points. In things manly, The Godfather knew his stuff. Remember when Johnny was blubbering about not being allowed to have a role in a movie.? I take you to the scene:

CUT TO: The Don's office

JOHNNY (as Tom quietly enters the Don's office)

A month ago he bought the movie rights to this book. A bestseller -- and the main character,

it's a guy just like me. I uh -- I wouldn't even have to act -- just be myself. Oh, Godfather, I

don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.

VITO CORLEONE

You can act like a man!

(then, after slapping Johnny on the face)

What's the matter with you? Is this how you turned out? A Hollywood

finocchio that ah cries like a woman?

(then imitating Johnny, as Tom giggles)

What can I do?! What can I do?!