A Pursuit Fiction

The loathsome Sully reached a new low today in his secular jihad. In a foul post that equates "Christianism" with Hezbollah, Sully demonstrates the depths he's willing to plumb in his quest against those who he believes are out to turn our country into a Christian nation. Never quite realizing that his fevered anti-Christianism posts are far more hysterical than those he rails against, Sullivan continues to destroy whatever is left of a formerly admirable reputation.

I could go on, but Goldstein beats me to it today in "Andrew Sullivan: Man of nuance", and does it better than I ever could.

Instead, I got to thinking about what kind of person this Sully character must be. I mean my goodness he seems to fly off the handle so easily. One second a guy can do no wrong, and the next he is public enemy number one. Or so it seems to me. Can you imagine what it must be like to be Andy's boyfriend?

As Mr. Mike used to say, I think it would go something like this:

Andy And The Boyfriend's Socks

"Socks on the floor?! Again, with the socks on the floor? What is it with you and leaving bits of clothing all around our tidy little cottage? I've got real issues to deal with dear! Christianism! Bush! Rumsfeld! There is also that evil genius Rove! Is it too much for you to pick up your socks? My God, and I don't say that in a Christianist sort of way but rather in a Gobsmackingly pissed off boyfriend sort of way, why should I have to look at the PTown sunrise with your bloody socks on the floor!"

"I should add that you, my dear fiance, still refuse to acknowledge or account for your own role in the whole boxer shorts on the daybed incident! Again, your inability to cop to even basic moral and intellectual responsibility is a feature of the very slovenliness that I have tried to sketch. Oh sure you still insist that you make a "mistake" once in a while, but you do not make an actual argument against why your boxers were there in the first place! All I can say is that I see deep tropes of medieval Andrew hatred, perhaps invisible to virtually any casual observer! Oh but I know it's there and it is deeply disturbing. Why, how do I know this foul act wasn't committed for political reasons?! In fact, I have a mind to include a whole chapter on the creeping filth with which I'm forced to live in my new book!"

"Now be gone and get me a latte from that hunky barrista down at The Cup! I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I've got modern conservatism to save!"