Thursday, July 28, 2005

Oh The Glory


Correspondent Tom, propieter of the informative and amusing Functional Ambivalent (which I don't have on a "we'll see" bloglist), mentioned that he used to watch "Wild On..." just to catch a glimpse of the wonderous Brooke Burke in a bikini. Concerned as I am with fairness, I wanted to make sure that all my readers were availed of this opportunity.

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My Secret Shame


Its time to 'fess up. Two reasons motivate me to do this. First, Spoons has come out of the closet and secondly it is a fantastic opportunity to shamelessly post a picture of the sexy and delightful Brooke Burke. Here goes.

I watch Rockstar INXS. In fact, I not only watch it, I like it.

Go ahead, mock me if you must, but I will not be shamed. Sure I could do without the ritual "angst at the mansion" that all these shows seem to insist on including, but when it comes time to rock, its a delight to watch.

And rock is exactly what the contestants do. Tuesday night's show included fellow Chicagoan, Marty, belting out a fantastic rendition of Nirvana's Lithium. Marty was so impressive that he was selected for the encore performance on Wednesday night and apparently won Spoon's selection as the next frontman for the band.

This of course is wrong. Marty, an undeniably rockin' dude, doesn't have the melodic style that the band is going to require. For this reason and the fact that he is a fellow Aussie, Mig will be at the top when the show ends its run in a couple weeks.

So if you haven't caught it yet, there is still plenty of time to catch-up on Rockstar INXS. All I can say is that while I enjoy the show, I will never, ever again get caught up in a reality bit again. At least not until the next Amazing Race.

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100 Million, American, Later

As readers here have undoubtedly surmised, I am no rocket scientist. Over the years though, I have seen one or two on TV, and increasingly in our world this passes for expertise.

So as I watched the "return to space" with all its incumbent "risk" and "danger" on our fine cable news channels, it was without reservation that I began to wonder just how much of a rat hole NASA really is. Think about it. Here we are 2 1/2 years and over 100 million dollars after the last shuttle disaster, and still NASA cannot figure out how to make foam stick to metal. I'm aware we're dealing with the extremes of physics, but it just seems to me that we ought to be able to send men and women into space without increasing the risk that is already inherently part of such a mission.

We have been told that we have the best scientists in the world working on the space program, and I believe that this is true. I wonder though, if it is possible that genius is prone to the same pitfalls of hubris and stilted logic that the rest of us mere mortals experience. I know in business that one of the greatest challenges I face is getting teams to think beyond their experience, and look for new solutions that are obvious once you escape the prison of your own structured logic. The over used phrase that describes this process in "thinking out of the box". It is a tremendously powerful solution building tool when executed successfully, and there are many team building tools available to facilitate the process. "The Six Hats" is just one for example.

I'd recommend that NASA begin doing this, and as a public service allow me to make an initial suggestion that seems obvious:

Instead of trying to get foam to withstand the physics of lift-off, why not invert the structure of the external fuel tank? The easiest way to do this, of course, would be to not have the foam as the external skin. Instead, add one final layer of an extruded, light weight metal that would fit over the foamed tank like a fuel tank condom. I suggest extruding the tank condom so that it will be seamless there by reducing drag, and eliminating any seams that might cause sections to fall off.

I realize this solution will add weight to the craft, but the reduction of drag on lift-off, plus a re-engineering of shuttle materials that were designed 30 years ago, to include more light weight metals out to be able to accommodate the solution.

Thoughts?

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Have We Gone Soft In The War On Terror?

The recent bombings in London and Egypt have been an awful reminder that as much as we would wish terrorism away, we remain mired in this war that we must win. Tony Blair spoke this morning and said that 9/11 served as a wake-up call to the west, but that during the months and years following the attack, a great many of us have gone back to "sleep" and ignored the threat that is very real and threatens our way of life.

I'm reminded of the New York Times column penned by ex-CIA analyst Larry Johnson in July of 2001, almost exactly two months prior to the attack on New York and Washington. Good ole Larry has most recently been heard discussing the Plame affair, and while I have no idea whether his statements there are accurate, he certainly was a reflection of the misguided US foreign policy establishment in 2001 when he said:

"Judging from news reports and the portrayal of villains in our popular entertainment, Americans are bedeviled by fantasies about terrorism. They seem to believe that terrorism is the greatest threat to the United States and that it is becoming more widespread and lethal. They are likely to think that the United States is the most popular target of terrorists. And they almost certainly have the impression that extremist Islamic groups cause most terrorism. None of these beliefs are based in fact."

Frightening isn't it. Yet I wonder if we've drifted back to the same false sense of security today. The anti-Bush crowd, Larry Johnson included, seems more fixated on bringing down the Bush presidency by blowing up every non-scandal into a daily spew of ginned up outrage, than helping move the country forward. There was Koran Gate, the related Gitmo-Gate, and now Plame(Rove)-Gate. Amazingly, these have just been the outrages from the last three months!

Sadly, the proponents of the war on terror, have drifted in their commitment as well. After 9/11 we were committed to going after the terrorists wherever they were in the world. We started out quite well, toppling the Taliban in Afghanistan, and taking out Saddam Hussein's terrorist haven in Iraq.

We then lost momentum. I don't know if it is war fatigue, the constant flow of negative reporting from the mainstream media, or a general sense that we are now safe again, but I sense an all too real feeling of complacency at both the highest levels of our government and the general population.

I have always been a strong proponent of two tactical principles when executing a strategy. The first is that a good offense is a great defense. It is a simple fact that whether you're in business, sports, or war maintaining constant pressure on your opponent requires him to react to your moves, and takes away your opponent's ability to set the rules of the game, or even establish the field on which the game is played. This is why I am such a huge supporter of both the Afghan and Iraqi campaigns. We must take our fight to the terrorists and those that sponsor them. In this way we can use our superior firepower, intelligence and manpower to overwhelm the opponent on terms that we set.

The second tactical principle that is critical for us to remember is that one never stands still. It is a simple fact of life that either you're moving forward, or you're falling backwards. The world, and as a result, war is always in flux. If one rests, the environment changes and your position declines as a result. One must continually press forward to keep up with change and execute the tactics that will achieve your strategic goals.

Can anyone of us say that we are doing this as a country committed in the war on terrorism? I truly doubt it. We've gotten lazy and distracted, and this has made us more vulnerable.

Our leaders tell us that there is a reason for this. On the left we're told that we're bogged down in Iraq. On the right, we're told the terrorists are an enemy without a nationstate to attack, so there isn't much we can do. Both of these are nothing more than hollow excuses for inaction.

Iraq is key to winning the war on terror. The basic thrust has been outlined before and comes down to the fact that if we can attract terrorists to fight us there, then they won't attack us on our home front, combined with the goal of establishing a working democracy in the region that will serve as a catalyst to spur other liberal reforms. We've had surprising success with the elections in Iraq, the writing of the new constitution, the recent participation of the Sunnis in the process, the eviction of Syria from Lebanon, and the liberalization of Egyptian elections. So we must stay, and we must succeed - the left is wrong, Iraq is not a distraction it is critical to our long-term success.

The right is equally wrong as well. The idea that terrorists do not have a nation state is absurd. The terrorists are supported by several states and we know exactly who they are. While we cannot start wars with these states, we currently are not making them feel pain for their support of the terrorists, and this must change now.

Sabotage, commando raids, support of a domestic opposition, and if necessary, assassination are the tools that we need to use against our enemies. An excellent example of a target rich environment is Iran. I personally believe that bin Laden has received sanctuary there, and whether I am correct or not, the point remains that Iran is supporting terrorism around the world. Yet what have we done to make Iran pay for this support? The answer my friends is nothing.

Here is where a good offense comes into play. Sabotage of Iranian industrial targets, the covert bombing of ships in its harbors, and the direct clandestine support of opposition groups in the country should be our first priorities. Obviously, we cannot take credit for these acts, but I'm confident our Iranian enemies will know who executed these attacks, and what actions they can take to stop them. If these initial steps do not affect a change in Iranian positions, then we need to turn the heat up. Where we can identify terrorists in country, we should go in and get them. Where we can identify Iranian leaders directly supporting terrorists, we should assassinate them.

The same approach can be taken with Syria (ok, no harbors to bomb, but you get the point), most likely with greater success, as Assad has already shown weakness. In Pakistan, where Musharaff has been cooperating, we should tread more lightly, but I still would run covert operations into the remote regions to take out those leaders that are sheltering terrorists.

I'm aware that many of my readers will react negatively to what I've proposed. I understand our hesitance to take aggressive action in the world as we like to think we can bring change without talk of death and destruction, but I'd remind you that our enemy has no such qualms.

Looking back on the history of World War II, if we could have been more aggressive up front with Hitler is there anyone who would not have taken action? Is our enemy today, substantially different than Hitler in both their quest for world domination and their willingness to kill innocents? If not, then why do we hold back? Why should we continue to give up our domestic liberties when some aggressive foreign action would continue to take the battle to those that want us dead?


UPDATE: Yup, looks like I was right. We have gone soft, and we're becoming down right Jello-y.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

A Culinary Outrage!


I'm just not sure where to start, except to say that it is now clear that the communists have taken control. As the linked article indicates, a recent "survey" resulted in the New York hotdog being declared the best tasting dog in the nation. From the article:

"The nationwide poll was conducted through random phone interviews with 900 people.

Twenty-eight percent of respondents backed New York, while 26 percent said they preferred Chicago. Dallas, Los Angeles and Denver rounded out the list."

Immediately the survey's methodology must be called into question. In what world would anyone put together a survey of any type of cured meat product that included Los Angeles as a credible answer? Los Angeles? For hotdogs? I don't think so. Those people eat salads, "tofu pups" and God knows what other unnatural concoctions their mad "health experts" have invented.

Dallas and Denver while not equally dubious responses, certainly do not merit consideration in this question of culinary excellence. I don't mean to say they're not fine cities, but what pray tell is a Denver hotdog? One that tastes good due to the mind numbing effects of altitude sickness?

Here is the website of a loutish brute who clearly has ruined his tastebuds on a combination of trailmix, freeze dried beef stroganoff, and that sickeningly sweet powdered fruit drink concoction that his type refer to as "bug juice". Yup, a Denverite decided to taste test a Chicago hotdog, and came away completely underwhelmed. This, as a great President once said, will not stand. I've always heard that people like this were out there, but I never really believed it was true. I guess I was like those that deny the existence of the Devil. I've learned that they are all too real, and they are pure evil;

"A word of caution: if you ever hear anyone talk about the fabled Chicago Hot Dog, stop them. They lie. There is no greater lie. The Chicago Hot Dog is to adults what the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny, and Santa Claus are to children: a hoax and fraud.
HereÂ’s how to make a Chicago Hot Dog: Obtain hot dogs in Chicago. Dump all nature of shit on them so theyÂ’re smelly, messy, runny, and soggy. Now eat it in Chicago. HereÂ’s what separates a Denver dog from a Chicago dog: the water boils faster in Denver."

Chilling, don't you agree? Fear not my fellow gastronauts, as with the Devil, this odious excuse for a gourmet exposes his lie in his own words. "Water boils faster in Denver". Got him! Everyone knows that you never boil a hotdog. My God, what type of person would do such a thing? A hotdog is a fully cooked meat product. Nearly the perfect meal. Boil it? This guy must eat his steak well done and cook fish until it is dry and tasteless. Perhaps these are the types of people that were polled in the survey?

My friends, this is a very troubling development that speaks poorly for the future of our country. A Chicago hotdog is like no other.... a work of art that balances all of your basic food groups between the warm, steamy folds of a poppie seed bun. Denver, I'm sure, has some nice folks in it, but if this man is unable to distinguish the glory of the Chicago dog, one must wonder how many more are out there? Societies don't crumble in one huge explosion, they rot from within and we may just be looking at the early signs.

To prepare an authentic Chicago hotdog one must begin with the very best ingredients, and that means purchasing your cased meat product at the Mothership of Meat. This wonderful institution started in 1893 when two fine young imigrants wanted to feed the attendees of the Columbian Exposition in Chicago. As is fitting the birth of an institution, readers of The Devil In The White City know that many firsts were achieved as the result of this fair. While we could point to the introduction of ice cream, the first Ferris Wheel, or the construction of the landscaped gardens of Jackson Park, or even the building of the "White City" as the fair's great accomplishment, the true most enduring miracle that came about was Vienna Beef.

Delighting the taste buds of Chicagoans for over one hundered years, the Vienna hotdog is like no other. All beef, the proper blend of spices and meat, and an enticing red hue, it yields a delightful "pop" when your teeth first sink into its meaty goodness.

With the Vienna dog as its base, a Chicago hotdog then must add mustard, electric green relish, onions, and fresh tomatoes and sport peppers. At this point, any other city would be satisfied with their creation, but not the city of builders. No way bub, we knew that to achieve true greatness more had to be done. The beauty part comes next; celery salt. A dash, not too much, makes the Chicago dog a transcendental experience, enhancing each of the other ingredients, and bringing out a symphony of flavors.

Comparatively, a New York hotdog is a horror show. For starters they fry the thing. God, what sort of person looks at a dog and thinks, "you know it could be good, but I should really add some grease, and burn the skin before I put it between two halves of a cold bun"? I'll tell you what kind of person thinks that; a communist. Thats right, the communists have begun to take over and they mean to ruin that most American of foods, the hot dog.

How do I know its communists? Simple, they put ketchup on their hotdogs. This may be the greatest outrage in the entire culinary world. Ketchup! So typically communist too. Again, evil always shows its face, you just have to know how to look for it. In this case it is simple. Communists want everything to be equal, nothing is supposed to stand out. My God, look at their horrid architecture, their awful cars, and look at their food. Its awful stuff, no real flavor, and a greyish tint that repels even those with the worst of tastes.

In the hotdog they found a challenge though. How could they take this tasty meat product, and cover up its flavor without tipping off all good Americans to their presence and their nefarious intent? The answer was as simple as it was devious; smother the dog in ketchup so that you can't taste the glory of the food that was founded to celebrate our liberty. See? Evil I tell you. In fact, I bet if you go back and look at the records you'll find that New York's liberal voting paterns started about the same time that they began putting ketchup on their dogs.

I am afraid yes, but I will not be intimidated. I love this country too much to see it rot away due to communist influence, and loathsome hotdog boilers. Look at that picture above. A true Chicago dog in all its well dressed glory! Some things are worth fighting for, and this is one of them. That is why I support Mr. Howard Eirinberg the glorious President of Vienna Beef in his challenge to a taste off.

"Anywhere, anytime". Thats the Chicago spirit. We aim to win and defend our honor which is gonna take all of our strength. I better head over to Weiner's Circle and begin my training regimine.
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Thursday, July 21, 2005

Blame The Victim!

The left's latest ploy in their increasingly pitiful attempt to discredit the war on terror is to suggest that somehow America and England are responsible for causing these attacks. Lately the approved soundbite is to suggest that it is our policy in Iraq that is the catalyst for 9/11, 3/11, 7/7 and presumably, today.

We've discussed here before the alarming state of intellectual bankruptcy, and I would argue moral bankruptcy as well, on the left, but this new argument is truly appalling. Ken Livingston, the London Mayor, has been ad hocing from the approved script by also suggesting that somehow our need for oil makes us especially guilty. This, of course, makes no sense at all.

It is long held strategy of those without a defense to try in some way to attack the other side. Sort of a play on the "best defense is a good offense" tactic. We often see this as a defense in rape cases where the attacker has more or less been caught red handed. The defense attorney, while "not wanting to cross the bounds of decency" is compelled "by the demands of justice(!)" to point out that the victim did in a way bring this on herself.

In other words, the bitch was asking for it.

This is what we have today. The left in the person of Red Ken and many others is playing the role of the oily defense attorney willing to say or do anything to protect his guilty as hell client. Don't get all uppity with them because you, bitch, were asking for it. By going about our daily business, paying countries in the middle east for oil that they by a fluke of history just happen to be sitting on (but in most cases were technically unable to remove from the ground without our help), well, we should have known that they would ultimately get angry and attack.

These people are sick. They defend murderers for no other reason than to relieve for a moment their own self loathing. Of course they're not so sick as to strap on a bomb and do the deed themselves, no that is for the little brown people. The big brains of the left must remain available to defend poor blown up Mohammed, so that others will follow in his spatter to continue the carnage.

Well John Howard, PM of our great friend Australia, has some words for the pimps of Osama. Click on the link to read the facts.

The Krautmaster General

An excellent and important article by Charles Krauthammer in today's Opinion Journal. So much of the criticism of Bush's foreign policy is based on moment in time micro views of the insurgency in Iraq, or our dealings with Musharraf in Pakistan that it fails to capture the full strategic picture. Krauthammer does an excellent job of defining the strategy, contextualizing it in recent history, and drawing a roadmap of where it must go.

Of course this is just one view, and as Krauthammer points out there are several views on the right that have supported a very healthy debate. What Krauthammer doesn't say, but readers here know that I will, is that it is sad that no such discussion is credibly in action on the left.