Saturday, December 31, 2005


The impending new year brings with it the dawn of new hope, pledges of reform (kind of) and fevered dreams of salvation.

Me? I'll just mix up a Manhattan and make irresponsible claims of future vision with near metaphysical certitude:
  1. In the 2006 mid-terms Democrats will once again snatch defeat with a death grip from the jaws of victory and gain no seats in the House or Senate. In fact, they may lose some.
  2. The Chicago Bears, after a surprising defeat of the Seattle SeaHawks on their home turf will lose the Superbowl to the New England Patriots in one of the hardest hitting, well fought gridiron battles of recent years. Old timers will be heard far and wide to remark, "yup, that's the way they used to play the game".
  3. That is unless they clobber the Pittsburgh Steelers in a defensive gem.
  4. Osama, my most wanted man-a, will be found to have been dead, and will remain dead for all of eternity. White Flag Murtha will be heard to mutter, "I shouldn't have let Dean buy me that extra martini at lunch".
  5. Pursuit will be unexpectedly called to the stage at Chicago's United Center on January 22nd to sing "Dead Flowers" when Mick needs a short breather. Critics will hail this "fresh new era" of the World's Greatest Rock and Roll Band.
  6. Unfounded and vehemently denied rumors of an affair with Chrissie Hynde will be floated in Rolling Stone shortly thereafter. When asked to comment Chrissie will say, with a distant look in her eye, "only if...."
  7. Mrs. P will roll her eyes!
  8. The Yanks will win the series in five.
  9. Trumpet's long running and highly entertaining tale of love, lust, romance and ultimately redemption will end with a tragic not completely unforeseen twist.
  10. A conservative revival that belatedly and wonderfully renounces goofballs and hucksters such as Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter and the rest of they're crayon scribbling ilk will begin and be led by a surprising figure.
  11. This guy will continue to write one of the most thoughtful blogs out there.
  12. Sadly, this guy won't.
  13. The curtain of silence that protects the MSM from itself will be pierced when one major news outlet investigates another. Subscriptions will be canceled heads will roll.
  14. My buddies here will continue to post some of the funniest bits out there.
  15. Michelle will have a great year in the mountains.
  16. Duf will become a neo-con after another year of reading my inspired political writing.
  17. Joe Wilson, in a desperate attempt to keep his 15 minutes alive, will do something to further discredit his wife.
  18. Zarqawi will die.
  19. A grateful world will rejoice.
  20. It will be a happy and prosperous new year for all my blog buddies.

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