Saturday, December 3, 2005

Target One

Sunday is the day, and this man is Target One. He will be stopped and The Most Storied Team In The History of The Greatest Sport will be victorious on or about 3pm CST Sunday. I'll be there on the lake front with a cheer in my heart and flask in my pocket to witness this; the latest chapter in the Bears-Packers rivalry. Afterwards, I'm sure there will be a story to pass on to future generations of Bears fans. But for now.

Target One: Get 'im boys.

I hear there are other games this week. I've left the boys at Pursuit Football Central to do most of the calculations this week. It's been a tough November, and we're just about even against the spread; a situation that brings shame to all of us accustomed to the glory of beating the experts. So, I've put the staff on bread and water until they perform better. The server farm has been cranking new algorithms around the clock, and here is what they say:

Bears 7 Packers: Do you really need to ask?
Dolphins 4 Bills: Dolphins
Steelers 3.5 Bengals: Bengals
Ravens 8 Texans: Texans
Colts 16 Titans: I never give 16 points, Titans are a no brainer here.
Jags 3 Browns: Browns. Today is the day of charter franchises
Giants 3 Cowboys: Giants
Vikes 3 Lions: Vikes
Panthers 3 Falcons: Falcons
Bucs 3.5 Saints: Saints
Cards 3 49ers: Cards
Redskins 3 Rams: Rams
Pats 10 Jets: Giving 10 with the Pats? Yes, yes I think so
Broncs 1 Chiefs: Chiefs
Chargers 11.5 Raiders: Chargers
Seahawks 4 Eagles: Eagles



Bear Down, Chicago Bears
Make every play, clear the way to victory!

Bear Down, Chicago Bears
Put up a fight with a might so fearlessly!

We'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation
With your T-formation

Bear Down, Chicago Bears
And let them know why you're wearing the crown!

You're the pride and joy of Illinois,
Chicago Bears, Bear Down!!

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