Wednesday, February 9, 2005

Men Pay and Pay and Pay

I don't expect to get much sympathy on this topic, but it turns out that men pay for the favors of females throughout the animal kingdom. Of course this is a topic dear to my....heart, yah that's it, as Valentines Day approaches. Penguins, crickets, monkeys you name the species and it seems that females have found a way to get men to pay up before they put out.

Happily, men are still men and some of our more creative brethren may not be so honorable when it comes to the game of romance. Not that I endorse this sort of thing, but members of both sexes do from time to time misrepresent certain aspects of the deal, and it is interesting to see that this is not unique to the human species. Take the male dance flies for example. It turns out some of these little guys are a bit deceptive when offering their payment, er gift I mean, for love:

The meal is another insect gift-wrapped in a silk balloon, but some guy flies have found they can get away with presenting an empty balloon.

"Why she accepts it, nobody knows," Waldbauer said.

Why indeed. Show me the "nice guy" who hasn't lost out to the "bad guy" and I'll show you a man who has never dated. Men, there is a lesson here and I think it is more than just that there are cads in every species. I'll leave it to you to derive the full meaning.

In fact it seems there are all sorts of things we can learn from our little animal friends. Take my new personal hero the male cricket:

If the meal is too small it won't keep the female busy for the 50 to 55 minutes it takes to fully inseminate her

50 to 55 minutes?! Not that I, personally, am surprised by this outstanding example of fortitude, but none-the-less WOW! Do you think they just roll over and fall asleep at the end, or do they have to "cuddle" too?

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