Wednesday, May 31, 2006

The Best of Intentions


I had the best of intentions. Really, I did. I got to work around 6:30 this morning cranked out some of the stuff I had on back log, held all my important meetings, made it a 6pm soccer game and got home in time to grill steaks and vegtables for dinner with the family at 9. Quite a day.

Then I logged on to The Pursuit of Happiness and there was one new comment! How great is that? I do a post about the fact that I've got nuthin' and somebody actually bothers to give me a comment. "How nice" I thought.

So I opened my comment section and there before my very eyes was not some happy words of encouragement, but rather something else. Something dark, forboding and threatening.

An attorney threatening me with a lawsuit.

Even worse, this certain attorney, by his own admission, has been known to pack heat in situations of conflict! How alarming is this? I'm a simple family man, never hurt a sould in my life (as long as you don't count that man I shot in Reno - just to watch him die). Well to say the least I was shaken....shaken to my very core.

Why I was so upset, that that steak that wonderful boneless ribeye that I had consumed amidst the fawning love of my supportive family did a flip in my tummy. And that just ain't right. Because, you know, I cook a mean steak.

Oh I've been to Ruth's and Morton's and all the other guys, but I got to tell you folks, all I really need is some decent beef a hot fire of hardwood charcoal and my handy, dandy double wide grilling spatula.

The key to a great steak is very simple. First, you've got to let the meat get to near room temperature before you grill. This time of year one hour out of the fridge is more than enough warming time. Secondly, the master of the grill knows to not be shy with the salt and pepper. Give each side a healthy shake and your taste buds will salute the greatness that is you. Finally always remember the two step cooking process; Step one char each side of your steak for 2 minutes over a very hot flame and the execute Step Two by moving the meat to the indirect side of the grill and cover until you reach your desired done-ness - between 5 and 7 minutes in my experience.

People bow down, angels sing and a special post is reserved for you in the hall of the grilling greats.

As for maniacal and possibly armed attorneys, I've got this advice: If they stop by with that crazy eyed look, hand them a beer, feed them a steak and watch the savage beast subside.

Of course if that doesn't work, make sure your shotgun is nearby!

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