Ah, the rich cultural milleau that is Florida!
The Pursuit trek through America's swamp continues, and so far no teeth, limbs, or chill'in have been lost to the various beasts found locally.
We've been safe from the gators too.
Can we have a small word about two-for-one drink specials? For those of you who have not experienced Florida first hand, you might not be aware that 50%of the populace down here is 65 and above. These folks have a pretty good life style; wake at 4a.m., power walk at 5, play some golf, nap and have dinner at 3p.m. Everyone drives a big Lincoln too - even on the golf course. So next time you here AARP complain about prescription drugs, be aware that not all of our retirees are suffering.
Speaking of drugs, lets talk about two-for-one gin and tonics. The entire economy down here is one big quest to find THE DISCOUNT. One of the reasons the seniors eat at 3 in the afternoon is because this is when the early bird special starts. Ussually it's something like Chicken Cordon Bleu, with watery broccoli. Easy on the gums and dentures you know.
Last night we went to dinner at a place that was advertising two for one drinks. My immediate thought, was thank goodness, something to help numb my tastebuds from the relentless assault of bland! Turns out two-for-one is not two drinks for the price of one. No, in a subtle distinction that was soon to be revealed to me in all its horror, it seems that it's two glasses filled with ice and the alcohol of one drink.
I was crushed.
Not only is this false advertising, its down right un-American. Happily, President Bush's newly aggressive "selective Federalism" program is in place, so I will at once petition Congress to re-adjourn in an emergency session this weekend to outlaw this nefarious practice. Afterall, when watered down drinks are made illegal, only criminals will have watered down drinks, and that sounds about right to me.
Reporting semi-live from Florida, Pursuit. Over and out.
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