Tuesday, March 15, 2005
The Cubs are dead to me. 44 years of endless humiliation and ineptitude is more than enough. There comes a time when a man must stand up and say, NO MORE! Today is that day.
I leave the hapless saps on Chicago's north side unapologetically. Dusty ("in whom we trusty") Baker, a pathetic wretch if ever there was one, can't get over "Salsa" Sammy Sosa the choke king. Kerry Wood and Mark Prior are injured already an all too predictable development that management once again failed to anticipate. Steve Stone, baseball's best analyst, is forced out for having an opinion. The joke will continue without me. I'll fully expand on my departure at a later date.
So I've joined the legions of fans rooting for baseball's greatest team. God, I so look forward to mocking those provincial mopes from bean town who, lets face it, get lucky oooooh about once a century. Bill Buckner, Bill Buckner,Bill Buckner,Bill Buckner,Bill Buckner,Bill Buckner,Bill Buckner,Bill Buckner. Hah! Fools all, run in fear of that name, as well they should for a return to glory will no doubt take another century or so.
While I'm at it, how about those Metropolitan's? Beltran's going to save the day you say? Sure, just add 8 other guys who can play ball and you might be on your way! There's some other problems as well. For example, you can't remove the stain of those horrible fans, whose more than ample posteriors darken the seats of Shea. Grimy fisted fools, marching through the turnstyles blinded by their fearful recognition that nobody else really cares. They scream "we'll show them this year"..... and by April 15th, their season over, they're reduced to muttering their same tired mantra, "wait until next year". Oh watching their suffering will be delicious as our hero's once again assume their rightful place at the top.
So there you go. Admittedly I'm not fully up to the level of my fellow coalition members in terms all that is glorious about the Yanks, but I'll get there. I'll get there real fast. You see, I have something that others don't. I've got the fervor of the converted. My promise to you, dear reader, is that I'll pursue my newly found passion with the intensity of one who has seen the light, er darkness! Along the way, we're gonna have some fun.
Thanks to Michelle for accepting me into the family.
Cross posted at the Coalition of Darkness, go there and check it out.